A Perfect Match by Patti Early, Eldera Mentor
When I was matched with Margot at the end of December 2021, we connected immediately. We’ve said many times that it’s a perfect match! Margot, who turned 16 in early August, is in many ways, a typical teenage girl with one exception. Margot was born with Down Syndrome. She likes to talk about what it’s like having Down Syndrome, which is wonderful and educational for me!
At our first meeting, Margot talked about feeling different from everyone, even her family. People assume things about her by the way she looks and sounds. In our first meeting, I confided that because I’m overweight, sometimes people judge me, too, before they even know me, and it can hurt. With that, we became fast friends. We understood each other.
As I told Margot the other day, when I look at her, I don’t see a girl with Down Syndrome, I see only my friend. She doesn’t see my weight or gray hair, only my heart. Sometimes when she breaks down and tells me things that weigh on her heart. I’ve shared some difficult things about my own life. Other times, we’re completely silly. We laugh a LOT. Margot is one of the funniest people I know.
What makes this girl special is that she knows exactly who she is and makes no bones about it. That’s unusual in a teenage girl, because most girls that age tend to feel very insecure. Margot is also very supportive of ME. She checks in with me almost every day, asking whether I’m playing with the cats or painting. She tells me, “I support your artwork! That’s what friends do for each other.” We talk about “girl power.” Margot also tells me I’m her best friend. She never uses words lightly. When I was sick with Covid, she checked on me every day and told me to drink a lot and be sure to eat (lol).
I’ve also developed a relationship with her mom, Gretchen. The day she told me “Whether you want to be or not, you’re a member of the family” was a very good day.
Earlier this year, Margot participated in the Illinois Miss Amazing Pageant, a self-esteem movement for girls and women with disabilities. Margot wrote a speech for the pageant called “Buried Treasure.” It was about strength and belief in yourself and looking past what’s on the outside of people for the buried treasure inside. When she read it to me, I cried. It was so inspiring!
At the end of July, Margot entered the National Miss Amazing Junior Teen Pageant in Nashville. Her mom sent me the livestream, and there was my girl, not nervous in the slightest, out there killing it! I wasn’t able to watch the all-day event, but later in the day I got this text from Margot’s mom.
Yes, Margot won! I was so excited I started texting Dana (Griffin, Eldera CEO) and my kids and everyone I could think of! That that girl’s feet are not going to touch the ground for a long time!
Before she left for the pageant, I told her, “Seriously, you could be a role model for other girls with disabilities,” adding that I admired how she carries her disability with such grace and I know it’s very hard at times. She replied, “Oh, I just got chill bumps.” Everything I say to her matters. My words carry weight with her.
However, the gift she’s given me far outweighs anything I’ve done for her. She helped me to reconnect with kids and brought me out of isolation. Most of all, she makes me feel loved. She makes me laugh. She accepts me exactly as I am. That’s what friends are for!
Dana asked me to get a quote from Margot. When I asked Margot to say something about our friendship, she replied:
“Our friendship is important because it shows two people opening up to each other and that being completely different from each other is ok. We are showing what friendship is about and we both know we can do anything and be who we want to be together and we are sticking to each other’s side like honey.”
Yes, we are.
